After my blog post yesterday about being Spoiled In A Digital World, my brother [Nico Viljoen] responded with the following…
“INTIMACY is determined by 3 Parts:
– 1. CONNECTING
– 2. CARING
– 3. SHARING
We’re all pretty well with the connecting on a daily basis. We CONNECT in the work place, when we pay for our groceries or when we’re filling up our cars at the fuel pump.
We even do the CARING part in certain areas of our lives. We donate money to some charity we don’t even know something about. We tip the waiter 10% of the Bill at the restaurant…
BUT when it comes to SHARING, it means TIME! Something we all want more of. Something that we’re selfish about. We don’t want to spend too much time in relationships with the potential of being of everlasting worth. We don’t want to go out of our comfort zone of sharing something deeply scary from our inmost being that can change the life of someone else.
The only way we can get to that point of sharing that deep heartfelt secret or struggle is by continual and constant time with a certain person or certain persons. It comes only by gradually growing into it. If we don’t do the continual and constant time with someone, we will never be intimate with someone. Not speaking intimate in the sense of sex, because that is a whole topic on its own again. I’m speaking intimate heartfelt conversations with friends, colleagues or family.
TIME = LOVE
TIME = INTIMACY
So, the question is not are we [*CONNECT]ing or not.
The question is not are we [*CARE]ing or not.
The question is not even are we [*SHARE]ing or not.
THE REAL QUESTION IS: Are we doing those 3 in a balanced combination.
What I’m getting to is this… No problem with gadgets and technology. Just do it in balance with the rest of your life. If you do tech, do intimacy as well!”
So…it comes down to INTIMACY.
The digital world succeeded in CONNECTING people. It even allowed us to CARE [Charity:Water is a great example].
But where it failed is when it comes to the SHARING part. We cant really share deep heartfelt stuff using a digital medium. Or perhaps we can. But the emotion is lost in the process. When you read this you will have no idea with what emotion I wrote this. There is no [or very little] emotional connection with me.
And perhaps that’s what it’s all about. Having an emotional connection with people.
So… digital is fine, but when it becomes a substitute for having to connect with people emotionally, we have given it permission to deHumanize us [and this is a deep one...].
